I came to realise this week that unforgiveness is beyond holding a 20 year grudge or suffering the affects of an early life trauma and not being able to let it go. I've started to see it in our attitudes to things and to people that I never really connected to unforgiveness until now.
Being over Critical, Judgmental or Vengeful, have an aspect of unforgiveness that we justify all the time. We may never relate it to being unforgiving because we can assume anything to do with unforgiveness comes over a long period of time. Forgiveness is such an important tool that we can use to make the most out of our relationships, people will always let us down and we have the freedom to decide whether we will carry that baggage of disappointment or just to get over it and it go. It’s important to learn how someone else’s character, habits and ‘flaws’ can affect the way you will relate to each other, but judging them and labelling them permanently having seen something you don’t like is definitely unforgiving. Everyone has the right to be forgiven and the chance to change and develop. Baring in mind none of us are perfect. What we may see as acceptable can be totally unforgivable to someone else.
I’m trying to keep this short and snappy, it’s just something to consider. Why do you feel it’s necessary to point out someone’s flaws? Why will anything that person does, never be completely acceptable to you? Why are you so quick to throw something back in their face? We often say things that never need to be said or pointed out; my mum makes the point of being constructive not destructive at all times.
Question your motive and be real about why you say and respond the way you do. Some of us will find that we’ve forgotten our own flaws or are trying to hide them behind someone else’s. It can take just a minute to display unforgivness by taking revenge in something that we say or do or making a negative comment just based on your own ideas about someone.
Don’t let that be you!! It starts with a decision that you can make now and work on it. Not everyone has had early life trauma or suffered great disappointment but everyone is in danger of being trapped by an unforgiving attitude.
